Things change, something old becomes new

Many years ago I went to UConn and met a group of my sisters friends. Fun people. Then, I went my separate way and went to two other colleges, met my own friends. As life proves to be cyclical, so too I am finding, are friendships.

The UConn group experienced a rift, a split between my sis and another girl in which that group took the other girls side sending my sis off spinning and feeling hurt and disheartened by the idea that friendships, like many things, can one day decide to fail. So, too, did another girl who briefly joined this group, experience a sudden, fierce, and cold turn away from her. Why? Both my sis and friend have their theories. The truth? I've been lucky to learn that after several years...the truth is irrelevant, immature, and long, long gone.

My BF, Eric, has always remained true to both sides of that overdramatic and silly rift. Now, dating him, I've finally met this group as not some one's little sister, but as a significant other, who hoped very much to be significant to this group also.

I was truly exasperated, and all kinds of pleased at how warm everyone has been. One girl in particular, once notorious for her ability to ignore people in groups, making them feel less than welcome, has come to me with open arms and a clean slate. A clean slate that she believed was soiled long ago by one person in particular who wreaked negative havoc where ever she went. In other words, all is gone, all is forgotten. People are happy in their lives and all the menial things that happened years ago that can't even be remembered today have been absolved. Yay! Let the good times, and good friends, keep rollin'!

Just an update

I guess today, besides the vodka link, I'll take some time to say hello to the people who read my blog (hi guys!) and let you know that things are going pretty darn well.

Work continues to be a bright spot for me. I'm getting better at what I do, we just won 6 awards out of the 7 we entered into a regional PR award show. We also got Best in Show (hehe...and advertising didn't get it this year in their show after a 3 year streak). I also got a random call from a recruiter about some position, which I haven't called them back because I'm happy riiiight here. :)

Love life is awesome, sometimes to the point I can't quite wrap my head around it! It's effortless. It's honest. And it's fun, and I love it. Though still getting used to having someone around who is everything a BF should be. It's sorta sad that it's odd to me. But he's training me well and he's so generous.

AND I'm still thrilled stupid about becoming and aunt (and an Aunt-in-law!!!) in early 2009. That's right, Shawn's sister Nancy is Preggers also!!!! 3-4 weeks behind Sherri. The race is on for the first Craver grandchild. EEK! BABIES EVERYWHERE! it'll be fanTAStic.

That's all for now...i'm off to do some busy work until 5:30, see y'all soon.

Pretty Vodka

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/food/delicious-skittles-vodka-190403/

Stuff

"It's about moving forward, not looking back."

"Things change"

Apparently, some very complicated feelings can be comforted somewhat by rather over simplified comments. awesome....

Help the Woodland creatures...they're cute.

I decided to begin a campaign for little animals. This time of year, fluffy bunnies, randy birdies, and trillions of squirrels are out and about enjoying the weather (and mating season) just as much as we humans are. The unfortunate part is that many humans enjoy the sun and fresh air riding around in gas-thirsty motor vehicles.

Not a big issue to us, other than gas prices, but to the animals?? They get the entirely crappy end of the deal. First, roads and highways keep little fuzzy animals from crossing to new feeding and mating grounds. So we get very hungry, inbred animals. This happens a lot to deer. Second, the vehicles themselves…what a tragedy! I saw a cute chipmunk the other day who scurried confidently across a very busy West Hartford road, made it out of the way of my car and under the wheel of an oncoming car. I saw the whole thing in slow motion. The sad part…is that the wheel only crushed the little guys shoulder and front leg, so he got thrown off balance, having to gather the ambition to make it the rest of the way across with half of his body destroyed, where he likely stayed til he died. Or maybe he made it to the woods, but as far as I know, no veterinarians live in the woods to help out injured animals such as this little chipmunk. The poor guy got totally screwed out of a great summer.

I later ran over a squirrel, though some how he made it out from under my car unscathed. And today, (though according to Darwin, I may have been doing the gene pool a favor had I not come to a complete stop) I encountered a rather scraggly squirrel playing on the side of the road with a much better kempt playmate. He stupidly ran out into the street and then made a sharp turn to head down the street in the direction I was traveling. I stopped. One, because he looked so goofy with his messy fur and half mangled tail, two, because I felt bad that he was not as smart as his playmate who was safely in the grass still, and three, because I’ve been getting so disheartened by all the animals getting run over lately. Most upsetting are the deer who frolic out of the woods on a mission for some dinner and end up getting spanked by a Mack truck barreling down I-84 and splattered, very literally, across the pavement. So sad.

I say all this to say to all of you, please keep an eye out for these little woodland creatures. Yes they’re cute, but also, the mess they leave behind when run over is a really big downer when commuting to work everyday. So in that regard, I suppose this rant is more a campaign to keep the roads gut-free than to let the little guys live. I mean, really, most of them are highly populous in Connecticut anyway. (I’m actually kidding here, guys, they deserve to live here too!!) my next bumper sticker is going to say “I break for little animals.”

Ready to clear my head, and move on to the rest of my life

There are negative things and difficult changes that happened in my life that serve a purpose. I believe they do, at least. Even though I learned from those events, I feel at this point they are hindering more than helping. They affect my attitude, my outlook, my reactions to people and to emotions, and until I had something new and positive come along in my life, I never realized how significantly the negative things were holding me back from letting in and enjoying the positive.

Thrown at you like a stone, painful events hit you and then fall away after a moment, a few hours, a few days…but there’s always a bruise. But how long will it take to go away? Some hurt more intensely and show the least because they are deep beneath the surface. Some are emblazoned with bright purple and blue, dramatic, but fade quickly.

I feel battered and bruised. Tougher on the outside because of it, which fends off future bruising, but the early ones sit there, and even harsh new bruises, linger. They distract and eat away at the carefree person I was when I was younger. I miss the way I used to be. More quiet, definitely naive, but I took in everything around me freely because I didn’t need a filter, or a wall. Life was life and every experience was new and even the painful ones I cherished because I learned something about myself.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped learning about myself and began controlling what I did and how I acted, even who I met because I knew how to deal more easily with the bad stuff. Now that something good has come along, I’m so built up with the other crap, that I need to process it before I miss out on something I’ve been waiting for.

Inspired by the 'Career' Issue of the PR Strategist magazine

Women work, as do men. However, since the 60s and 70s women have been treading up a hill (not to sound like a feminist, because I’m not) in order to reach their professional goals. They’ve had to endure backlash of the emotional kind, dealing with sexism, making less money and having to work much harder than men in order to break through the glass ceiling.

What I see today is a culture where women, though not ENTIRELY equal (stats say we still get paid less than our equal male counterparts), we’ve come so far and are successful business women with satisfying careers. But what happens then, when a woman wants a family?

I’ve been fascinated by this topic since college, having majored in Journalism, a historically male dominated field, the question came up long before I would have even thought about wanting a family. In the time since then I haven’t found an answer that I’m comfortable with.

We live in one of the least family friendly countries in the world. Shocked? I’m not. When long work weeks are coveted by business leaders, how is a mother – or a father for that matter – going to get home to cook dinner? Bathe their child(ren), read them a bed time story, and tuck them in?

The responsibility, either by nature or by culture (I believe it’s both, whether for good or bad), of running a family and especially rearing children, gravitates toward the woman, the child bearer.

Here’s where I – and from the things I’ve read, many other women ¬¬¬¬¬– become a little anxious and confused. Women, as a gender, have been through a lot in the last 40 years and have come very far. Does this mean that we are negating any part of that movement by choosing to stay home to raise a family? Or working part time, or from home? For all that we’ve worked for in building a career in our younger years, do we then put an irremovable wrench in the gears of our professional lives by taking maternity, or extended leave? Is that fair? It’s our choice. It’s the company’s job to run a business. But why are women (as I have read) passed over for promotions because they leave ‘on time?’

Inevitably, there are many sides to this discussion and many opinions. I only hope that women stand behind their own beliefs, not those of their company, their family, or their culture. It is a matter of desire, priority, and understanding what it will take to make you happy. Whether that’s a career and no children, or a true renaissance lifestyle with the best of both career and motherhood, or dare I say, going the old fashioned way and staying home with young ones to witness every smile, gurgle, step and fall, we should all feel confident to choose happiness. After all, not even men can have it all.