Things blossom in the Spring besides flowers

It's been a long stretch, and several years of growing up, getting focused, unfocused, then refocused. There were people in my life all along that I hoped would remain, and have. Some that I tried and hoped to connect with but who have left my life in a move that later made me thankful for their exit. I've learned a lot about people, how they look at friendships, how I look at friendships. I learned that they can be the center that holds you together when you're about to explode into a million angry fragments, or the backbone that keeps you upright when you'd rather melt into a puddle on the floor.

They're a smile when you need it most, or when you didn't even know you needed one. They're the troopers that will always show at your parties when you want to be surrounded by fun. They are a cast of characters in your life that each serve a very different, beautiful, important and absolutely vital purpose in your world. It took 26 years to evolve into a group of friends that I love for who they are, and who love me for me. People go forever without finding maybe more than one or two, and I've found a whole bunch of 'em. And it makes me grateful for always standing by my standards, the ones that tell me when I think I might be getting screwed. The kind that keep the good in, and the bad out. I've tested these standards many times, and they haven't failed me yet, and the result is astounding, inspiring and all together...awesome.

I feel at home in my life, more so now than ever before, and though I have a ways to go before I'm "settled" as they say, I know that I'm on the right path today to get there, and I have the perfect people on board to join me and help me get there. Not only that, but one friend has emerged to me in a way I couldn't have imagined. They were there all along, a good friend, though not too close. But one who never failed to respond to a call for a good time, or a call to bail out one of my loved ones.

A friend has emerged in the form of what is a blossoming romance. A true testament that friendship is so often the door to something more beautiful, stronger and more satisfying than any other type of relationship I have yet experienced. I gave this friendship a chance to be something more, and it's grown quickly but very truthfully and honestly, into a relationship. I'm thrilled to have a friend who wants the things I want, who is attracted to me the way I am to them, who has fun doing the same things and the same sense of excitement and exploration that impassions my life. I can only wonder what may come for us down the road, but the beginning is the most fun. I intend to have an amazing time dating, and getting to better know, my friend, and boyfriend, Eric.

Spring has sprung (for real)

I'm ready for the warm weather, sunny skies, hikes, swimming, sunning, playing, biking...being outside. Last summer was my "I'm going to be ridiculous and reckless because I'm 25 and single" summer. I'm looking forward to doing a little work on my condo, perhaps spiffing up the kitchen cabinets, a coat of paint in my room, organize my closets...anything to make it feel more homey.

I also hope to spend more time having small gatherings with friends at my place, and maybe inviting myself to my friends houses on random summer days. I'm also looking forward to the possibilities that (I think) exist with dating a long-time, good friend of mine. He's someone fun, and someone I never realized I had so much in common with, someone I already know is not a douche-bag, or a liar, or a nut job. We shall see what the Spring and summer bring!!

Anyway, what a blessing of a day today was. Absolutely gorgeous.

Moving on and having fun

Believe it or not, a group of colleagues (the usual Happy Hour crowd) decided to expand our horizons this week. And I'm thrilled about it because it's no longer about getting together to stand around, drink and stare at each other, we have actual planned activities.

Yesterday was our first try...and we went rollerskating! It was pretty fun, actually, they played "oldies", by which they mean, the cool stuff you used to listen to in jr. high and high school. Yes, it made us all feel a little old but, it was worth it to get in some good old fashioned fun at Ron-a-Roll's "turn back time Tuesday" roller skating event.

And my buddy Jason fell flat on his ass in front of us. I've never seen anyone turn so RED! Fortunately, only his ego was bruised.

Next Thursday is Karaoke...a true passion of mine. People are shocked that i'm actually going to sing...which is a little dumb...cuz it's karaoke (hello people!), and someone else is DEFINITELY getting dragged up there with me, ha! They have NO idea what they're in for. Such a good, silly time.

But as silly as it is, it's more mature than drinking for the sake of drinking, which to me is the most important thing right now.

Why am I okay with the silly stuff? Well, for me it took an extremely frightening event to scare the crap out of me, and to scare me away from getting drunk. I never thought I'd have pushed the drinking thing as far as I did this winter. There was always someone going out, always something happening on the weekends, and i was always one of the fun, single, partiers that everyone knew they could count on to attend. Well...that's all well and good until you completely forget a night, and wake up in another town, with someone you don't remember meeting, talking to, dancing with, going home with....etc. It's scary, and a slippery slope, and I was naive to think I could keep pushing the drinking to the edge. I had compelte control and then...nothing...for hours.

I didn't drink at all for 2 weeks after that, then only with my sister cuz she was "safe", and now, only if something is going on, and only a few. No reason to ever, ever, EVER experience anything like that again. But it's incredible how many other perspectives of mine were influenced by that night. I want to do things for me, no one else. If I don't want to go out, I'm not going to go. If I go out and want to drink cranberry and seltzers all night...I don't need to tell people why I'm not drinking. I want to relax, enjoy my job, my friends, and my family. And it's tough to do that if I'm too drunk, or too hungover, to remember.