Lunch

I often wonder if my swift decisiveness is a bad thing. My cubical neighbor at work said, “Boy, once you mentally decide on something, you decide!” Which doesn’t seem like a bad comment in and of itself, but if you look at the context around the comment, it makes me consider what the true impact could be.

A guy at work seems interested in me, we have spoken several times, joked around, smiled, waved hello. Before today though, I wasn’t positive that I returned his interest. (and I’m not saying every man that says hello to me is interested in me, there’s just a certain unmistakable effort that a man can put into walking by your desk before it becomes clear…) Now though, I have initiated an email conversation and asked him if he’d be interested in lunch. He said fine, which is fine, but mentioned something about rumors getting started and something about being prepared to respond… Uhh….it’s just lunch, was pretty much my comment to him. Dear Lord, please don’t let him be another freak!?!?!! I don’t think I can take many more before losing all faith in the gender.

So therefore, before today, I had not made a decision on this person, whether or not he was just a passing acquaintance with very nice blue eyes, or hmm…could it be something else with just a simple little “when is your birthday” email?
Well…someone’s just emailed me….so lets see…decisiveness good? Bad? Freak? No Freak? The anticipation is doing a wonderful job of distracting me from my work =)

Nope…wasn’t from him….

A dream

"Maybe our pasts never stop haunting us... maybe it is so we don't forget our mistakes..."

"Powerful.. I like that word. I alone control my life... I alone control my happiness. I choose to do what I know is best for me and my loved ones. I choose to work hard for my happiness... That is a powerful feeling..."

-Sherri Craver

This is obviously a few weeks old....but...

The summer is so nice,
the summer is so grand.
All the fun we've had
and the little left to plan.

It's going way to fast.
I wish it'd last and last.
I'll play with all my friends
until the summer ends.

But soon the sun will set
and rise with cooler air.
The autumn will ensue
and take the summer's flare.

What a tragedy,
this dilemma that I see
The only way to solve
Is to drink most heavily.

Is it often enough that we stop and look around us and say, WHOA...Take it all in, all the expectations forgotten, new ones that we added? Where we are is never where we thought, I don't care what anyone says. You can spend your life worrying, planning, understanding, or you can just get on with living, quit wasting time and do what feels good to you, right to you, what's meaningful to you. No one else can make you happy that's entirely up to you.

I met someone online, the kind of person you never thought existed, the hot kind, the smart kind, the kind kind. It's freggin' nutty. And amazing, and I know he's taken by surprise too. It's moving quick, but it's just the right kind of quick. Quick smiles and laughs. Gazes that last and make you forget things. yup....makes me queezy too.

I love glazed donuts...any brand....just....glazed.

new age romance

"Online dating" as it's known, is very new and strange to me. After meeting my first "date" I realized it's not very easy. On the phone or over email, it's easy to embelish aspects of yourself that are great, while leaving out the not so great. My first experience was nice but in the days following our first meeting, it became apparent we weren't meant to be.
Tomorrow I will meet mystery man #2...This one sounds more in line with what I want, and more physically attractive from what I can tell from his head-shot. It's amazing how someone you never met can cause such a sense of excitement, fear and self-consciousness! EEK! I'm excited, nervous and the "what-ifs" are running amock in my mind.
I will have to share the juicy details...or at least the somewhat damp ones (ewww...that sounds pretty nasty).

to begin...

Writing in a journal was very personal to me throughout high school and college...then I lost it, and was fearful of ever writing in one again. So...why not cut to the chase and make it public on purpose?
I'm not sure who will read this, my friends I would imagine, the very few an far between that I have made in my 24 years. OR anyone else...
So, welcome all to a life in the day of insanity...I would like to do all kinds of postings, poems, blurbs, entries and who knows, I may bust out with something intelligent and interesting to write about.

May the blogging begin